Trigger & Content warnings: This podcast discusses the difficult topic of family, domestic, sexual and intimate partner violence within LGBTIQA+ communities. Some people might find the content of this podcast distressing.
Show notes
In this episode of the Pride in Respect Podcast, host Dr Jack Farrugia is joined by Pauli and Starlady for a powerful conversation about gender, power and control in the context of family, domestic, intimate partner and sexual violence experienced by trans and gender diverse people.
Starlady, a queer trans woman, feminine person and Director of the Zoe Belle Gender Collective, brings insight from her work in violence prevention, trans advocacy and the Transfem project. She speaks to the ways trans misogyny, cisnormativity, gender expectations and systemic discrimination can shape violence – and why services must do more than simply say they are inclusive. They must build trust, employ trans people, understand trans-specific experiences, and actively make their spaces safe.
Pauli shares deeply personal reflections on familial violence, rejection, coming out, loss, survival, chosen family and the long-term impacts of being denied safety, affirmation and support. Her story highlights how violence against trans people can begin within families, continue across relationships, and be intensified by silence, shame, exclusion and systems that are not built to recognise trans experiences.
Together, this conversation explores the importance of visibility, chosen family, community care, meaningful allyship and systemic change. It is a confronting but hopeful episode about what it means for trans and gender diverse people to be believed, respected, loved and supported.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How family violence can show up for trans and gender diverse people
- The role of chosen family, community connection and peer support
- How cisnormativity and transphobia can make violence harder to recognise
- Why trans people may not feel safe accessing police, justice or mainstream support services
- The need for family violence services to build trust with trans communities
- Starlady’s work on the Transfem project
- What meaningful allyship looks like for trans and gender diverse people
- Pauli’s lived experience of familial violence, rejection and survival
- Why systems must include trans voices from the beginning, not as an afterthought
- The importance of love, affirmation and respect in preventing harm
If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
For 24/7 family, domestic and sexual violence counselling and support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
LGBTIQA+ specialist FDV support is available through the Rainbow Sexual, Domestic and Family Violence Helpline on 1800 497 212.
In Western Australia, you can contact the Pride in Respect Specialist FDV Support Service on 0481 080 201.
For more information, resources and support links, visit prideandrespect.org.au.
About Pride in Respect
Pride in Respect is a community partnership between Living Proud, GRAI, Transfolk WA and WAAC, generously funded by the Department of Communities.
This podcast was proudly produced by Pineapple Fingers.
Visit www.pineapplefingers.com.au for more information.
If this conversation was meaningful to you, please subscribe, share the episode, or pass it on to someone who may need support.
The Pride in Respect podcast is recorded on Whadjuk Noongar boodja. We acknowledge and pay our respects to the Whadjuk people of the Noongar Nation and their Elders past and present as the traditional custodians of this land. We also honour Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander LGBTIQA+ people, including Brotherboys, Sistergirls and trans mob, and recognise their resilience, strength and deep connection to Country.